In the spirit of Scott's Freak Friday relationship-themed questions, I am going to pose a question myself today:
How do you let a total stranger know that you think they're a hottie, without embarassing yourself beause if they reject you, you will still have to see them on occasion???
Because, you know, a *cough* friend of mine *cough* is in a situation like this....
She's never spoken to the guy in question, and has no idea if he's approachable or not. And besides, she's really shy and would prefer to be approached first. Help me help her!
I saw a one-man play last year where the performer basically spent an hour talking about dating and relationships. It was interactive so we got to put in our two cents worth and it was very entertaining. Anyway, the fellow on stage kept re-iterating the following fact: making eye contact with a guy is NOT, he repeated, NOT, enough to let him know you are interested. Men need more of an invitation than just a glance in their direction. They need to know you want them to talk to you. AND, they like to be approached first. A lot.
I've heard conflicting theories...that a relationship where the woman makes the first move will never work out in the end because men need to be the pursuer. The "thrill of the chase" is gone when the woman makes herself readily available, and although this can seem appealing to the man because its easy...eventually he will get bored.
On the other hand, I've heard from several guys that they love it when a woman makes the first move. That dating is hard enough as it is, without having all the pressure of having to always be the initiator.
I've actually posted about this before. So my question is not so much "should she make the first move", but more "how?!"
I look forward to hearing your opinions, my fine readers.
Have a wonderful weekend...I'll be camping and keeping my fingers crossed for good weather!
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16 comments:
I can't speak for all men but for me a big, genuine, smile is enough.
Unfortuantely Irish women are surly cunts and wouldn't crack a smile if they won the lotto.
LOL! Oh Niolk, how I missed your profane tidbits of wisdom ;)
This is a tough one! I always liked the guy to make the move, but the eye contact, smile, and general body language/flirtiness should be enough of a green light if they're interested. That's my 2 cents...
guess i should have read this post before i commented on the previous one.
there are three ways to go about doing this.
1. cheesy pick up line: wanna go halves on a bastard?
2. buy him a drink and then walk away. because that is like doing it without doing it and you get to do it and then he gets to come find you which means he is the persue-er even though you did it. manipulate, celeste, manipulate.
3. grab is ween.
Jlee,
You're right, it IS a tough one. I think I'll try the smile maneuver next time I see him.
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Crystal,
1. I don't know if he'll get that. I don't even get that!
2. No buying of drinks...I only ever see him at the gym. (Maybe I could bring him a protein shake?)
3. Might get tossed out of the gym for sexual harassment. OR, end up being hit on non-stop by all the other guys who were witness to the act.
You're talking about me, aren't you? I'm the guy you're lusting after! It's okay, I get this all the time. Don't be shy, just show me your tits and we'll take it from there.
Well I'm not sure I would go with any of crystals, the smile is a good one. Are you really talking total stranger? Someone you, I mean your friend has never spoken to or been introduced to? A compliment about his clothing, e.g. "cool hat" or if you are that kind of person a sarcastic comment about his clothing.
Good luck!
Honey.. who at our gym is hot??? What is going on?? Oh wait you go at night. I go at 5am and workout with 35 versions of my dad. hahah
I will now divulge the greatest pick up line of all time:
Look them straight in the eye and say "Do you know what fucks like a tiger and winks?" Then wink at them.
I challenge you to find a guy who would say no to that.
Mighty D,
Ummm. No.
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Andre,
Yup, total stranger. Maybe I could try "nice biceps" next time I see him?
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Sahh,
Sister, you are missing out. The hot boys work out at night. But hey, you and gramps have fun in the a.m. right?
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Blog Portland,
I have now made it my life's mission to actually use that pickup line one day. Although, I'll be so drunk when I do it that I'll probably mess it up...
where is the situation occuring? At the office? At a bar? At an outdoor venue or party?
I need this info to tell you what to do.
I have always made the first move and not to brag or nothing, have ALWAYS gotten the boys I want and believe it has to do with my approach.
The man I am married to, 11 years this Novemebr, I asked out first. :)
More info and then I can help, maybe... have a nice trip. Even if it rains, as long as you have a good book..it is wonderful. The worse day camping is better than the best day at work.
I would definately say that you should go with the smile, but also some conversation. See if you can find out something that you two might have in common to talk about then take it from there.
Ah well, there is absolutely nothing to lose then. No friendship to ruin, not going to hear that "I think of you more of a sister" kind of line. I tell you any man would like to here a compliment like that from a woman. Well except if someone said nice biceps to me it would have to be sarcasm.
It totally depends on the situation I think. Like Graeme and I already knew of eachother through work so I called him up and casually asked him if he was going to the xmas party, I said I thought he should go... we exchanged phone numbers there, and the rest is history. We are getting married in 2 months. I definately think the girl can make the first move, besides I think we are less corny at first moves than guys! no offence guys!
K, Lady...All you have to say is "wow I like your form. Does that isolate hams or the quads? Do you think you could show me how to do that in a super set?" Then you say "your bench or mine?"
Sah... I don't look thaaaat much like your dad. Well OK, we do have similar mustaches....
Celeste... HAHAHA you miss used its. I believe you wanted to us the abbrev. for it is, not the possesive. :P
If it were me I wouldn't bother - The regret and feeling foolish would far outweigh trying it... Unless I'm drunk of course :0)
Just do it - you only live once!
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