I've been thinking lately about dating. No, not as in "I want to start dating" but I mean the whole "dating-game" thing. (This is the part where those of you who are happily married get to count your blessings and feel sorry for us pathetic singletons.) According to someone else's blog I read today, girls can just "stick their head in the sand and 6 guys will come along and find them, but if a guy doesn't try to find a girlfriend and be pro-active, he will be destitute forever and ever" or something to that effect. What's up with that? I, for one, do not believe I will find a boyfriend by sticking my head in the sand. (Hmm, a vision of my ass up in the air now comes to mind and I am starting to see his point....)
Not that I'm actively looking anyway. What the hell does that mean? "Actively looking". I don't feel like I am because I am of the mindset "when I'm ready it will happen." But seriously, do we ever really turn it off? Do you know anyone who would turn down a date when they were single because, oh wow, I'm not actively looking but thanks anyway. ??? The whole thing is ridiculous and laughable, and we take it so seriously when we shouldn't, and a lot of money is made on books, movies and tv shows all based on DATING!
Anyway, I'm finally getting to my big question.....and boys (and girls), I want the truth here. There are some theories floating around out there about how men like it when a girl makes the first move. However, there is also the school-of-thought that the guy has to be more interested, its all about the chase. Ok, go comment now, because I'm curious...
I'm trying to post photos of my family trip to the river now and blogger is being a bitch as usual. Stay tuned, I'll try again tomorrow.
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23 comments:
Ach, that loser from "Las Vegas"(is that what it's called?). I'm dissapointed in you.
Personally I have no problem with women making the first move as this is a myth and has never actually happened(flirting and giving "signals" doesn't count). If you can show me evidence documenting previous occurences my mind may be changed.
Josh Duhamel HAS short hair. This guy was bald?
First move.....last move.....guys just want a pretty girl to notice them. People are lonely, they don't care how the loneliness went away.
As for pictures, more Little Bird coudln't hurt.
Ahh...the first move. May depend all on your definition of the first move. I think Niolk has a point...girls sometimes think that making eye contact across the bar constitutes the first move while the first move for a guy means asking for a phone number...VERY different levels of potential rejection come into play here.
I believe guys like the chase....however, they are more apt to chase something, that they think they can catch, and that is worth catching. The trick may be for women to give off some obvious signals of interest (you know how well men pick up on subtle ones...so it is not ultimately fair to say "hey I made eye contact, why didn't that guy come and propose to me")
Anyway, show interest and let him take the lead without playing the "hard to get" game too much. Just make yourself available, and allow him to show his interest back....then comes in the first move, usually from the guy.
So yeah maybe guys like girls making the first move in signalling, but maybe not in jumping into his lap...although they may appreciate such things, not usually a means of getting a date for a relationship.
I don't think they want a girl calling and stalking them everyday. It means they want someone that is confident and willing to show their interest in a guy without smothering him.
Damn dating is complicated! No wonder there are so many books our there!
Dating is complicated, but Josh Duhamle is a major hottie, I met him in person, he is also quite nice too and even better looking !
Niolk...yes and he's not a loser! I will do some research and find a few documented cases for you..if they exist!
Jerk...haha! The guy had very short hair, not that spiky-model-high-maintenance type hair that beautiful Josh has. No more pics of Little Bird. Sorry. You gonna have to go 'cold turkey' for a bit.
Serenity...lol! leave it to a psych-major to write a longer comment than the actual post!
Anonymous...whoever you are, I'm jealous!
Ha, very interesting topic. My sibling always says "he doesn't have money to date". That one kills me every time. I think it's his way of saying he's too freaking cheap to ask a woman out.
Umm, there are no rules. Sure we all like to be pursued, but that flame will flicker out quickly if there's no connection (physically or emotionally). Just be yourself and it will happen. Flirt I say!
But...but...(Napoleon Dynamite voice) she's awesome.
She's really pretty and I like looking at her. She's probably the prettiest Little Bird I know. You know, if I knew her.
Yes to the first move. You don't need to go and grab a handfull of his butt with a "where have you been all my life, sailor?" look in your eye. Just initiating conversation is enough of an opening for most guys.
Jerk...ok then! GOSH!
Egan...thanks! and tell your bro I don't blame him, it IS expensive!
AML...you mean that doesn't work? what if he really IS a sailor?
I like to chase. I don't hold it against a girl if they call me first, but the pursuit of a girl is intoxicating.
I stand by previous statement re: Josh Douche-hamel.
Dictionary says: Loser - Anyone who voluntarily goes out with the chick from Black Eyed Peas.
Dating doesn't have to be expensive though. Playing video games is dirt cheap.
Grunt...intoxicating. mm. good word!
Niolk...for insulting my Josh again, YOU ARE BANNED!!!
But you redeemed yourself by also insulting Fergie, so you're allowed back in.
Egan....as in "hey, want to go on a date? Let's sit around and play video games all night." ???
that josh duhamals or whatever his name is is really cute!
i am not exactly sure who little bird is, but i bet she is blonde with a cute smile. the jerk also has a boner for my friend, nanci who i have posted on pitsphotos. boys are weird like that. of course they go for the blondes.
maybe you should dye your hair blonde. just kidding. you are a beautiful brunette and you should have no problems getting a date.
i am all about the eye contact and smiles. i think that constitutes a first move. i wouldn't ask a guy out because i think it would shock them into thinking that i am a slut.
probably because i am one.
i think you should stick to smiling and flirting. guys always think they want a girl to ask them out until a girl actually asks them out and then they get all scared because they think you are stronger than them. i think it has something to do with the interworkings of their testicles.
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