I saw someone the other day who used to be a large part of my life. We didn't talk, it was a sighting in passing. But still, it brought a lot of emotions to the surface that I've been trying to forget. So I've spent the week reflecting on the experience, and on our situation and our past and I realized that I don't even know this person anymore. And then sadly, I realized that I don't think I ever really did.
Which brings up the question, how well do we ever really know someone?
Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend? Caught off guard? Have you ever been cheated on? Lied to? By someone you loved and trusted? Have you ever had someone you 'know' tell you some news that completely throws you? Something you never thought you'd hear them say?
In my relatively short life, I have had my fair share of surprises. Both hurtful, and also on the flipside: positive. I've lived and shared my life with another person and thought I knew him, and still to this day there are moments when I wonder. I've dated someone who I never really knew, because he didn't even seem to know himself. I've had friends who I didn't think were that close to me, but who've stepped up to the plate when the situation warranted it. I even have a brother who I love dearly, who continues to surprise me time after time. So again I pose the question: how well do we ever really know someone?
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9 comments:
I'm having that issue right now with someone whom I thought was just a friend, great post.
delaleuverses...welcome! and thank you. I hope you find a solution :)
That is a tough question. I have friends that I thought I knew and then they reacted in ways that I could never have imagined. I never know when someone is for sure being real or if it is an act, i guess we just have to stick with trust and hope for the best.
Scott
I think it is impossible to fully know someone, as we are constantly changing. It is all a process of cause and effect. We are continually surprising ourselves!!!!
I hat e to say it, but I don't think we ever really truly know someone. And I don'y mean that in a cynical way. I mean we are in out heads and only we know our minds and souls and experiences. My husband who thought he knew me better than anyone else is shocked daily by my blog because I release bits and pieces out. Humans are complex.
Great post Celeste. I can answer yes to many of those questions and may be guilty of doing a few of them myself in the past. Do you ever really know someone, I'd say that's it is possible but often times people have behaved very differently than I thought they would have. I've been in a situation the past 2 1/2 years where people that I thought I could count on have disapeared and others who I barely knew are close friends now. You find out a lot about people when your back is up against the wall.
I agree with Wendy that humans are often very complex.
Scott...good call. Yes, trust is key. I guess its just hard when it's been broken before.
Ernie...yes exactly, like when you turn into Agro McDuff...I never knew you were like that!
Geek...this is true. Too many people spent their time worrying about what other people think, when they should be learning who they are and what THEY want in life.
Wendy...I don't doubt that Squid is shocked daily by your blog! ;)
Phil...thank you. Its amazing how when your situation in life changes, you learn who your real friends are.
People only know what we let them see. The surprise comes when another piece of the puzzle slips out.
do we really even know ourselves?
i was thinking about that shortly after a long-term relationship ended. we are growing anch changing and i am definitely not the girl i was 5 years ago, or last month, or yesterday.
i've started thinking about it like time. you were who you were when i knew you and you probably aren't the same now unless i still know you.
i don't make much sense on mondays.
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