Tonight I received the following phone call..."Hey girl, I was talking to a friend of a friend who had a friend who met you at the bar a few weeks ago and he wants to know more about you!" Me: "Yeah?! Who?!" Her: "Umm...at my show on the long weekend." Me: " ohhh" Apparently the short guy (see post Short vs. Tall July 3) has been asking about me. Which is funny because by the end of the night I figured he was drunk enough that he wouldn't remember me. Plus I was mostly ignoring him.
What is the Universe thinking? I do believe there has been some confusion regarding my request. I said TALL GUY, I want a TALL HOT GUY WHO IS NICE AND IS CAPABLE OF HANDLING AN EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. Commitment phobes and serial cheaters need not apply. Is that too much to ask? I mean, really, there have got to be a few left out there. Aren't there? Hello?? Anyone??
Now of course that was the abbreviated version of what I'm really looking for. There's a lot more it than that. I do have standards you know. My contract with the Universe is actually about 12 pages long with several clauses, including section 4.3 which clearly states, "no excess baggage." Seriously, if you can't easily store it in the overhead compartment, don't come along for the ride. Also included is section 8.2 which outlines financial security, "must own, or be capable of owning real estate". Section 14 gets quite in-depth about required levels of intelligence. Prospects will automatically be removed from the 'dating pool' if they can't properly demonstrate the correct use of their vs. there. (There really is no excuse for their piss poor grammar.) I'll save you from the rest, its basically just a bunch of legal jargon and a few other requirements regarding sense of humour, lifestyle (and sense of style), and communication skills (among other useful skills.)
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16 comments:
he's out there somewhere doing something(s).
not the short guy, i mean the guy guy. yeah.
I'm back - I feel ya sis'.
I mean, don't you just feel how annoying it is the world works this way ? Yes, I'm pretty sure you do.
I can't put this all into words. But the world annoys me. And apparently you too.
Thumbs up for you girl, don't lose your temper with the short guy lol.
Well I gotta say, that was pretty damn funny. Trust the universe to throw you a curveball!
You have to think that it is flattering that the short guy is still infatuated with you. Take it as a compliment! At least there are some guys out there with courage to go after someone out of their league in the height department. He must think you are worth it :)
Nonetheless, Tall Hot Guy who fits into the "Celeste Contract of Datable Males" will show his face soon enough!
grrlsweat...yes, but where and what?!
Spacecake...welcome back! The world doesn't necessarily annoy me, but sometimes I do get a little frustrated :)
Serenity...thanks, you know I love to make you laugh ;) I'm hoping Tall Hot Guy will show up one day, buy 4 condos from me, and sweep me off my feet all in one clean sweep!
Height requirements eh? How tall are you and what exactly is tall??
Fun post... i know my their from my there from my they're.
Scott
Scott...I'm 5'10 and 5/8" to be exact. Tall (for my ideal man) is 6'1" and UP! (gotta keep in mind that when wearing heels I'm about 6')
isn't the ratio for girls to guys like 2:1 in Victoria? that makes it even more tough!!
Lindzy...gee thanks for reminding me :P
oh, and heterosexual...it is so hard dating. I wouldn't go back to dating for all the tea in China. (?) What a dumb phrase. I wish you very much luck in your quest. :)
Why do I get the feeling your taking a dig at me with that their/there comment? Look missuz I try my best but I have a tendency to rush my posts and don't get to check for errors. Stop pickin on me just 'cause I'm 5'10!!!
Wendy...yes! less so on the metrosexual side. A little metro is OK (ie: grooming, good style) but if they're more high maintenance than me...not so good.
Niolk...you figured me out! That entire post was specifically designed just for YOU my friend, so that you'd get out of your grumpy funk and continue posting comments! ;)
I fear that I may be the perfect man. After all I am intelligent, good looking, and modest ;) But alas, I am spoken for. Keep looking, when the right one comes along you'll know it. And you may be amazed at who he ends up being.
absent minded...thank you for the words of encouragement! :)
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