Lately, it feels like everyone is breaking up. I've had three friends call it quits with their significant other over the past month or so. It seems that people are just not willing to settle anymore. Women, especially, are so much more independent in my generation (as compared to that of my grandparents, for example). It has really got me to thinking lately...are we just not designed to have one partner for life? Have we always been taught that "settling down and getting married young" was just the way it is in the past...and now we've opened up our eyes to the reality that for many people, that just doesn't work?
I learned recently that marriage for the sake of 'love' is a fairly mordern notion. For as long as we can remember (or find proof in the history books), people married based on status, both financially and politically. (Think: royalty in Europe). I believe that it wasn't until Henry VIII that the idea of a marital union based on actually being 'in love' became accepted.
And even if you do find "the one" and shack up together in a neatly bundled life of marital bliss...eventually the shine will wear off. Marriage isn't easy. And lord knows, I'm speaking from experience. My parents have been together for as long as I can remember, and they have certainly had their share of ups and downs. I do believe the word "divorce" was threatened on more than one occasion during my teenage years. BUT, they stuck it out. They love each other, plain and simple. And they were realistic enough to know that there was a possiblity it wouldn't work...IF they didn't put the effort in.
I'm thankful that my parents were fairly open with my brothers and I about their life together. I respect them on so many levels: for raising a family despite nearly critical illness (my mom and then my little brother)...an unfriendly work schedule requiring my dad to be away weeks at a time when I was a child...being on a strict one-income budget as a young family....and then eventually running two very successful full-time 24/7 businesses together. My parents are rockstars as far as I'm concerned...with emphasis on 'rock'. Even through all of the bumps along the road, they were always there for my brothers and I 100%. I can only hope that having even an inkling of what they have been through in the past 30 years will help prepare me for my own journey...the one that starts with "I do", and will hopefully never end in "I don't."
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5 comments:
Yeah, divorce is super scary, but you have to have hope that you can make it work if you are willing to put the effort in.
Well, I can only hope that someday we each find the one and only that not just suits us, but blows us away. If that's not going to happen, then why even bother?
The 'one.' I still look forward to finding mine, and I am quite sure you will find yours!
Scott
Grunt,
It IS scary. There are so many horror stories out there. It causes so much pain, especially when children are involved.
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Neal,
Amen brother! No "settling" for his girl!
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Scott,
I love your positive attitude! And I'm with you on this one...it may take some time, but I have no doubt it will happen :)
Well put!
The getting married and settling down with 'the one' is nonesense really and not easy or even close to ideal!
It's a fantasy programmed into us all from people and TV - life isn't that pretty really.
I've learned so much about all this over the years and everyones needs a reality check like this from time to time.
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